I’m not a normal mom. Weirdo moms have wierdo kids. Here’s a look into our Saturday night and how MMA has taken over the household.

My five year old daughter asked if she could practice her ground and pound on me. Already we’re in unusual territory for most five year old girls. And I said sure, beat me up, daughter! And again, unusual territory for most middle aged moms. Ground and pound is when one fighter has another pinned on the ground and is pounding them with their fists. Mmm swelling and blood. What a fun way for a mom and daughter to bond on a SAturday night.

Miss Boo goes for the take down. I “fall” to the floor. Boo gets on me and starts pounding me with her fists as hard as she can. That kid is small but damn is she strong! I tell her so and that she’s too much for me and I’m going to tap out. That’s when a fighter taps the other fighter to signal they can’t take any more and the other fighter wins. Boo punches harder while yelling, “I AM THE ULTIMATE FIGHTER!!!”

That’s when I tap her on the leg. Boo yells, “I don’t care about your tap out!” And the kid keeps punching me!  Miss Boo is a maniac!  I tell her there’s nowhere to go in this fight. I tapped out. She won. Isn’t she happy she won?  No, she wants to keep punching. I tell her you can’t beat a dead horse but she insists she can and she will.

Finally Boo jumps up and I tell her it’s time to declare her the winner. I raise her hand in the air and shout that Miss Boo, “THE DARKNESS” (her chosen fight name) is the winner! I then pretend I’m a fight reporter for TV.  I ask her how it was to fight The Ultimate Mutha? Boo replies, “Good.”  I ask if she was worried about her mother’s strong wrestling?  Boo replies, “Good.” I ask if she got hit in the head during the fight?  Boo replies, “Never!” I then congratulate her on her win and wish her well.

That’s when Boo pulls her right arm back and lands a (pretend) punch on my jaw. She does a celebration dance for knocking out the TV fight reporter. Then she looks around the octagon, wondering who she can take on next.

Our house is a very very very odd house. But is sure is fun!