You Can’t Write this Stuff

crazy lifeI know what everybody says, their lives would make a perfect TV show. Well, honey, let me tell you something, the last thing we need around here is a bunch of cameramen following our family around. You’d think we were all clinically insane and frankly, I don’t need our crazy hilarity becoming fodder for late night talk show hosts.

But there are some pretty wild and wacky goings-on around here. You wouldn’t believe some of the strange stuff that happens in this house. The kids do things that I never would have gotten away with in my parents’ home. I’d have had my hide tanned raw if I pulled some of the antics of these little devils. My dear darling hubby tries to help, but let’s face it, he likes to play the good cop. I sure as heck don’t mind being the bad cop because the bad cop gets respect. The good cop is fine and all, and I sure do love my good cop, but when the S hits the F, the bad cop has to take care of it. And I got no problem with that. [Read more…]

I Can’t Sleep and I’ve Been Thinking

cant sleepIt’s like 2:45 in the morning and I can’t sleep. I hate nights like this.

My mind is on overdrive, thinking about all the things I want to accomplish, the things I haven’t yet been able to accomplish and all the successes and failures in between.

For some strange reason, I can’t get people out of my head. Not the little weird voices that tell me to do strange things, they’ll always be there (!), no I’m thinking about the people who have left. The life changes I’ve made in the past, and how those decisions affected those around me. The decision to get married, the decision to have a family, coping with the symptoms of my condition by cutting out certain things that I once used to enjoy. Changing my lifestyle habits. Heck, we’ve all done the things we’ve needed to do and those actions have sometimes resulted in the loss of things that we thought were important but, you know what, it turns out they weren’t important at all. [Read more…]

Mind Your Manners: How to Behave at Concerts

I always teach my kids to mind their manners. That doesn’t mean I tell them to act like robots. I want them to be happy and have a pleasant childhood because they are kids, but I also teach them proper behavior especially when outdoors. However, I notice that at public places or events, it seems that not only kids should be taught manners, but adults as well. When I watch a movie or a concert, the behavior of my fellow audience sometimes bothers me. Adults should always remember that proper behavior should be observed when you share a venue with a bunch of people, and to always be considerate about their actions. These simple reminders can surely make a difference.

Know when to sit or stand

music concertsConcerts allow either seated or standing audience, but do not be confused. Even if you find the band or singer playing your favorite music, remain seated when you are at a seated concert as a courtesy to the person behind you. If the crowd gets too excited and everyone in front of you rises because the singer plays his hit song, you can stand and the one behind you cannot complain about it.

Stop chatting with your companions

Concerts are not the place where you loudly catch up with friends. If you think you can’t control your excitement, reserve it for later, outside the venue or arrive earlier so you can have some time to chat. You would even find it difficult to chat at a place where there is loud music.

Respect the opening act

If you find that you do not really like the performers on the opening act, wait for them to finish and show some respect. Do not behave improperly, for they will be there only for a couple of minutes before the featured artist performs.

Use your phone wisely

It is too tempting to take a lot of pictures or video recordings. However, you are there to watch a concert. You even paid for it so you might as well make the most of the moment and get what you paid for. Leave the recording to authorized persons and enjoy the show. It’s okay to take a few souvenir shots, but to take selfies frequently may be annoying to fellow viewers and keep you from enjoying the performance. Use your mobile phone and other gadgets wisely, like booking concert tickets or following your favorite performer’s tour schedule. As for me, I purchase Imagine Dragons concert tickets, my favorite band, online for convenience.

 

When Family Life Gets too Hectic, I Turn to Comedy

Happy FamilyBeing a mother to very naughty kids and running the household, my life gets a little, well, a lot, overwhelming at times. Incessant noise by the kids when they fight or play games, and yell, “Mom, where’s my socks?”, “Mom, where did you put my blah blah?” get on my nerves. Not to mention my husband whom I consider my eldest child because I also have to take care of his every need. Taking care of my family and doing almost all of the housework drain my energy and I have nothing left for some me-time, save for an hour or two before bedtime where I can catch up on my reading or watching my favorite TV shows. But that is when I am not dead tired from the whole day of running around.

Laughing is my way to relieve stress.

Although my day is filled with busyness, I never forget to laugh. Laughing releases all the tension and stresses of the day. My favorite show is Comedy Central. I never fail to watch the show; I always have a good laugh when I watch all the comedians do their thing and make people laugh. Their jokes are so spot-on.

On the rare occasions that I get to go out with my girlfriends, we make it a point to go to a comedy club so we can laugh our hearts out and have a few drinks, so when we go home we are recharged and ready to take on the world again.

Laughter is the best medicine.

This saying is really true and I have proven its effectiveness over and over again. Whenever I am feeling under the weather, I watch funny videos on YouTube and I instantly feel better and more determined to fight off my sickness so I can get back on track. Aside from all the shows on TV that I watch, the best comedians are my kids and husband. They crack me up with their antics and unknowingly relieve all my tiredness and the tension in my muscles.

Never a day goes by when I don’t stretch my facial muscles to smile and laugh. My sunny disposition is contagious. When I am feeling light and happy, it rubs off on my kids and hubby and the house turns into a laughter riot.

On our wedding anniversary, my husband treated me to watch Daniel Tosh do a show and I must say, it was the best anniversary date we have ever had. It was casual, we did not need to get dressed to the nines to go to a fancy restaurant (which I may say is so cliché), and we drank beer and ate sinful food. I definitely recommend Daniel Tosh for those who are looking for a good laugh. Check here for Daniel Tosh tickets.

Ranting and Raving

rantingI have a lot to say today.  I don’t know I can’t seem to focus on one thing, but there are a lot of things on my mind at the moment. None of it is coherent. That is, none of it is connected, all right? All of it makes sense, or as much sense as I’m capable of making on any given day. I just can’t seem to stay focused on any one thing for some reason. I’m a scatterbrained mess today and you get to reap the rewards of my rambling. So here’s what’s up:

>The weekend is almost here, so that’s pretty good. The kids are almost out of school, so they’ll be spending more time at home. They’re too young for summer camp at the moment but one of them is already making some noise about wanting to go. You can thank my wonderful husband for that one. He was telling them how great his summer camp experiences were so now that’s gotten the oldest one thinking about going. Great.

>>Someone punk-ass punk called me a cow in the supermarket yesterday. A cow. No, he didn’t say it to my face, he said it to his punk-ass little friend. Under his breath. Like I couldn’t hear him. There I was in aisle seven, looking for those baked beans that the kids like and I guess I didn’t realize my cart was in the way. So here come these two jerks, approaching from behind, trying to get around me. One of them had some small amount of courtesy to say “excuse me” but the other one mumbles under his breath to his friend, “Move it, ya cow”. I couldn’t believe what I heard and the guy who said it was sure he had said it quietly enough that only his friend could hear. The friend snickered but tried to stifle it.

I was stunned, angry, and hurt. So you know what I did? I stood up straight, turned around and said MOOOO! The kid was mortified. You never seen anybody turn so red, so fast. I stepped forward and did it again – MOOOO. They turned right around and hightailed their punk asses back down aisle seven in the direction from which they came.

Words can hurt you know that? But dammit, if I didn’t enjoy seeing the look on their faces. Hey, I get it, I’m not skinny. I’m overweight and I’m not looking to make excuses, the PCOS makes it hard to lose the weight but I could probably be more diligent about keeping it down.

Just don’t you ever call me a cow, or I’m going to call you out on it.

>>>The World Cup is on. I’m not much of a soccer fan, I prefer other sports, but the girls are playing it in school and so they’ve been watching a lot of it on TV. They come home from class and watch the games and while they’re cheering for the USA, they’ve been picking other countries to root for based on the color of their jerseys. I’ve never heard of some of these countries before, but they sure have some crazy looking uniforms.

>>>>There seem to be more reruns of old Two and a Half Men airing on cable. FX has been showing a lot of them lately. Plus I’ve been rewatching episodes of Mom on the DVR. I can never get tired of either one of these shows but we’re starting to run out of memory space on the DVR. Now talk about First World Problems. There are kids out there starving, people suffering in the world, strife and war in countries where that’s all the people know…and here I am bitching about the DVR.

See, I told you I was having an ADD day today.

A Face for Radio

radioThat’s right I read out loud for a living. I was always good at it in school. Every time Mrs. Gilooly asked for a volunteer to read to the class, guess whose hand was up first? Mine! I guess I should have known I’d end up with a job that required me to do the same.

And dammit, I’m good at it.

Now when I say I do “voice-over work”, I should be more specific. I read copy for radio and TV commercials. I’m not the voice of a cartoon character like Phineas or Ferb or Prickly Porcupine or something like that. I’m the gal who tells you to come down to Tom, Dick, and Harry Chevrolet just off Route 47 in Lonedell. I do regional spots. These ain’t nationwide KFC commercials. But I did get to do a TV spot for the local cable company around here. That was fun. Paid okay too!

But everyone has to start somewhere right? All the big stars began their careers doing local gigs. David Letterman was a news anchor and weatherman for an Indianapolis radio station. Dan Castellaneta (the voice of Homer Simpson) used to do small market commercials – just like I do now! Mel Blanc was doing radio shows in Portland before he became the voice of Bugs Bunny, Porky Pig and more!

So this is just the beginning really! Today I’m doing commercials for Mister Sizzle’s restaurant on Milford Avenue (the home of the Rockin’ Reuben sandwich!) but tomorrow it’s the world! You know what I would be great at? I’d be great at being one of the Powerpuff Girls! My kids love watching those reruns on Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network and they just announced they’re doing a new version of the show next year! Maybe I should update my demo tape and send it in. I’ve got some good samples for a Powerpuff Girl. I could be Buttercup! I’ve got the attitude, the grittiness but with a good heart. I just want to protect my friends and family and make the bad guys pay! Now if that ain’t Buttercup, I don’t know how else to describe her!

Character work is the most fun but that doesn’t mean the gigs that I’m doing are any less exciting. Okay, maybe reading the script for an industrial video isn’t as glamorous as being a beloved cartoon personality, however you still have to bring the same discipline to the work. Your tone, inflection, and breathing are all still important. You want to smile when you say the product name to highlight it in your delivery. Don’t speak into your chest, raise your head up. Above all, e-nun-ci-ate! Speak clearly. Articulate each word. You can’t mumble and don’t talk too fast or else no one’s going to understand a word you’re saying.

Even the driest copy out there allows you to bring some kind of creativity to the table. That’s important! Otherwise they could get any mouth to speak. The talent comes in making the mundane sound freakin’ awesome! That’s my specialty. I can do awesome like you’ve never heard before!

Next time you’re in the St. Louis area, switch on the radio. 550 or 1120 AM, my spots have run on both of those, most recently. You’ll hear me.

No Need to Apologize, Chuck!

Chuck LorreMy love for Chuck Lorre is no secret around these parts. I could rant on and on about how creative and funny and amazing he is on so many levels.

Wait a minute. Wait wait. This is MY blog. I can do whatever the heck that I want, so I think I will do just exactly that!

Chuck Lorre is a freakin’ comedy genius. There I said it.

So when I tell you there’s no need to apologize, you must listen to me Chuck! (I’m speaking only to Chuck right now.) Don’t you do it Chuck. Don’t you apologize for Two and a Half Men!

Okay, for everyone else who has no idea what I’m even talking about right now, let me rewind a bit. Back to around two weeks ago, to the 3rd of June. Entertainment Weekly had an article about Mr. Lorre accepting an award at the Television Academy Honors for an episode of his new show Mom (totally freakin’ hilarious show, by the way). It was an episode that dealt with Allison Janney’s character’s alcoholism. Not such a funny thing to be making fun of, we have a history of some alcoholism in my family, but Chuck does a really good job at keeping it tasteful and appropriate without making a mockery of the issue. That’s not something everyone can pull off, but leave it up to Chuck to get it right.

Anyway, I’m going off on a tangent. He went up to get his award and here’s what he told the crowd: “To do a show about people trying to redeem their lives and to salvage and repair the damage they’ve done — for me, it’s an opportunity to apologize for Two and a Half Men.”

Apologize?? Who apologizes for success?? Mega-success in this case. Two and a Half Men has been going for 10 seasons! Ten! They must be doing something right over there. Forget about the whole Charlie Sheen thing (although I’ve never thought Ashton Kutcher has fully settled into the show organically, it was a much better dynamic with Jon and Charlie, probably because they really didn’t like each other off the set?), this show was one of the funniest sitcoms on TV!

Chuck knows funny. He started out on Roseanne. Only one of the best sitcoms in the history of television. I mean, that show really captured lower-middle class America in a way that didn’t kow-tow or make fun of its subject. And it was wildly popular. The show ran forever!

You don’t apologize for being funny and successful, Chuck! Your new show is another big hit. I love Mom. Allison Janney and Anna Faris are great together as mother and daughter. Again, it’s another sitcom about people who are learning to live with their past struggles. In Two and a Half Men, Charlie Sheen was pretty much playing himself with all the drugs, drinking, and womanizing. Mom is about coping with alcoholism. Chuck likes to tackle tough subjects, but not all in his shows. The Big Bang Theory (which is pretty much the best show on TV right now), keeps things a lot more light and hilarious, even though Sheldon is as much of a stinker as Charlie ever was on Men. But instead of collecting one night stands, Sheldon collects comic books!

Now that’s freakin’ genius if I do say so myself!