Today was Mammogram Version 2.0 to check the area of thickening on one of my breasteseseseses.

During the experience I kept cracking jokes in my head about the machine that was squishing my right boo-bah. It’s called the, “Mammo-Mat.”

The tech was explaining why I was called back for another mammogram and even showed me the area of concern on her screen and all I kept picturing was a laundry mat where ladies can wash their bras.

I had my second squishie and the tech showed me the image and yup, sho’ nuf. It did not look good.The tech left the room to show the doc and all I kept thinking about were ladies with their hair in  huge rollers covered up with cherry patterned scarves as they washed their lacy bras at the Mammo-Mat.  Ladies in high heels with shorts, cigs dangling out of their mouths, tied at the waist sleeveless shirts covering pointy bras, leaning against the washers and dryers and gabbing about this or that at the Mammo-Mat.

The tech came back into the room, and spread her arms wide in a ta-da motion. “You’re fine! Everything is just fine! The change was probably due to your recent weight loss.”

Inside my head the ladies at the Mammo-Mat twirled their bras in the air in a joyful salute. A huge smile remained on my mouth the entire drive home.