More homework for Boo. More hilarity for our family.

Tonight’s assignment? A page filled with lower case t’s and upper case T’s. Trace the T’s. Then color the lower case t’s green and the upper case T’s orange. It would eventually reveal a circus t-t-Tent.

Here’s how it went.

Me: Boo… what did you do to that T?
Boo: I gave him an extra leg.
Me: I see that. Why?
Boo: See! So I could give him roller skates!
Me: That’s very creative, but the teacher wants you to trace the T, not give him accessories.
Boo: I want to make fancy T’s.
Me: Yes, but in this assignment, they want you to just trace the T.
Boo: I know how to make Ts. I want to make them fancy.
Me: Ok… I understand that… but what are you doing to that T?
Boo: He’s waving! Hello! Hello!
(Matt walks into the room)
Matt: Want me to take over?
Me: Please.
Matt: She’s just using creative license.
Me: Have I ever told you my creative license story?
(Matt shakes his head no.)
Me: When I was young, I asked my mom to explain e.e. cummings and his lack of capitalization. She said he was taking creative license. I was really bummed out because I thought it was like a driver’s license and you had to be a certain age to get one. By the time I could get a creative license, I’d be out of school and no longer need one. With a creative license, I wouldn’t have to follow the rules in English class. I could just write without thinking.
Matt: You have to know the rules before you can break them.
Me: That’s why you’re going to be Homework Guy. I like the roller skating T much better.

Oh how I have missed you, Gilad. But now my post surgical restrictions are over! And we will once again be an exercise duo. You, looking buff and beefy on my TV screen, while I, flabby and doughy, flail about to your workouts in my living room.

Your online bio says you are in your 50s. What do you know? So am I.

Gilad, you tell me how to stretch. How to tone. How to burn unwanted fat. But you don’t tell me how to do those things with two babies in the room. And Gilad? Don’t tell me to work out when the babies are out of the room. When you have two babies, there’s always one in the room. They fall on my stomach while I do sit ups. They pull my shirt over my head while doing yoga poses. They freak out screaming when I turn on the ceiling fan.

Oh Gilad. I’ll give you 30 minutes a day during the week and an hour each weekend but it’s not going to be easy on me. Hilarious good time for the babies, but that’s not actually the point of your workouts. now is it?

When I was a child, my parents had this wood wall hanging in the bathroom with a painted little girl sitting on a potty seat. It read, “If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie, wipe the seatie.” Say hello to the 70s!

I often sing those droplets of wisdom to Miss Boo after she has used the toilet. Tonight she sang it back to me. “If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie, wipe the DVD.”

Took me a minute, too.

Miss Shake Your Wedgie, Shake Your Wedgie, Yeah Yeah and I were playing Barbies in her room today. Miss Thang has about eight of them now and only a few dresses that are leftover from the Barbie days of my youth. Poor ladies, decked out head to toe in orange polyester. It’s quite something to see sweet Belle and Ariel shoved into a 70’s Bob Mackie one shoulder tube dress. I’m afraid to purchase Barbie clothing for fear I just won’t stop. Just like I did with purchasing those damn Barbies. A four year old doesn’t need A Barbie let alone eight. I have a weakness for All Things Girlie. Good thing I have three girls.

Boo was covering Mulan Warrior in rubber bands. Mulan Warrior as opposed to Mulan Princess, there is a big difference, “Get it right, please.” She was completely into her task and when she asked for another rubber band, she called me Hannah.

“Can you hand me another rubber band, Hannah?”

“Hannah!” I laughed. I’m not Hannah!”

She sighed. “Hannah. Mommy. Whatever you name is. Geez louise!”